Show, Don't Tell
Learn how to engage your readers through written visuals
Many authors are confused as to what it means to show and not tell. Guest author Angela Harms explains how to give your writing a creative boost with descriptive prose.
Telling: The First Mistake of New Writers
When an author writes to me for a sample edit, sometimes I have to return the work with a note, and more often than not, the note is all about "Show! Don't tell!"
Mildred thought she saw something moving in the window. She screamed.
Mark Twain says "Don't tell me the lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream!" So let's try that.
"You can't trust your eyesight, Mildred. You know that," she whispered to herself, staring at the dark window. She listened to the ticking clock, and waited for the shadow to move again. "You're an idiot, Mildred. Go to sleep. This is ridiculous--"
She saw the outline of a face, and heard herself scream.
How to Show
The admonition to "show, don't tell" is another way of saying that the writer is using too much exposition, and not enough description. Here are some solutions to that problem.
• Rather than just telling the story, think in terms of describing the story.
• When characters are interacting, use dialogue to bring the interaction to life.
• Watch for emotion-words, especially: nervous, angry, frightened, excited.
• Use interesting and exciting verbs to describe action.
When to Tell
Like all the rules we depend on, this one has exceptions. Talented writers will use exposition, or telling, throughout their work. Exposition should be a break from the action. Important scenes are painted in rich detail, and transitional scenes are quickly covered with simple exposition.
For example, once you've shown us Harold's life for a few pages, you may say something like this.
After many days like this, Harold decided something had to change. So that Tuesday morning, he woke up an hour early, put on his sweats, and started running.
Once you've made that transition, you can go back to describing, painting, his life. Did he run out of breath in two blocks? Did he slam his fist into a tree in anger about his weak body? Did he rest, and then start running again? What can we learn about him from watching what he does next?
Getting the Hang of It
Make notes for yourself ("describe!", "detail!", "show!") and practice, practice. Practice during the day while you're standing in line, while you're driving down the street, while you're in the bathroom. Your characters will spring to life, and they'll make great company.
Angela Harms is a freelance editor in the Pacific Northwest, and enjoys helping new writers improve their skills. Tips for writers can be found at her site: http://www.angelaharms.com
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